Humans maintain their bodies for the same reasons they maintain their houses: to keep the neighbors friendly and to disguise the fact that an alien lives inside them. Care for your permanent domicile with today's Groupon to Express Weight Loss. Choose between the following options:
For $99, you get three lipo-laser and body-vibration sessions (a $637.50 value).
For $190, you get six lipo-laser and body-vibration sessions (a $1,275 value).
Overseen by board-certified physician David H. Drucker, Express Weight Loss's nonsurgical lipo-laser treatments strive to zap away excess paunch resulting in no downtime. During the brief treatments, light energy ruptures fat cells, prompting the release of triglycerides and thankful sighs of relief from targeted body parts. Physiques then usher the unwanted cells out through the lymphatic system's natural metabolic pathways. Immediately following each treatment, 10-minute stints on body-vibration therapy machines or the roofs of revving monster trucks hasten the elimination of fats in tandem with a well-planned diet. Clients typically revel in results after three sessions, though the center recommends undergoing a series of six treatments for optimal svelteness.
Deal Terms
Limit 2 per per person, may buy multiple as gifts. Limit 1 per visit. Valid only for option purchased. May redeem across visits.
